Sometimes, I feel like I should apologize to people but hurting them. For being a jerk. For being insensitive.
But over the years, those are defects that I haven't been able to correct.
So if I ever apologize to someone, it'd probably be just to clean off my bad karma, and not because I'm actually sorry. Guess it all comes back to be being a piece of shit person either way.
Yet sometimes, I feel, I am genuinely sorry. So sorry that I can't bring myself to bother these people with apologies that won't fix anything.
* * *
This is me, coming back to this journal just to let go of my angst.
I don't deserve to be loved by anyone. I just came to realize that.
It's better off this way.
Just entered the Supernatural fandom.
Why hadn't I been there? D': I missed so much gay-ness and spooky-ness I feel my life wasn't complete until now.
Starting season 4. I suspect Bobby is God.
Now I know it's a bad idea to choose the topic of your final project just by the sound of it.
I found out the hard way that the kind of art I HATE the most actually has a name, and it's Cubism.
If I'm wearing lime-green pants and a black shirt, who am I cosplaying? :D
There are many things I don't get nowadays. Specially about relationships and the way young girls think (call me old lady and you die >l).
I know this guy who is a really, really good boy. He always takes care of everyone else, he's well-mannered and he's kind of cute. The thing is, he can't seem to find a girlfriend because all the girls he knows are crazy dramatic bitches that like the dangerous type and the kind of men that make them suffer :/ and I've noticed that this kind of girls has been increasing dramatically. Also, they seem to thing that men are their playthings and that, as they go older and need stability, they will be able to leave this life behind and go spend the rest of their lives with a good man (that in some cases will be one of the ones they rejected before). Is it just old-fashioned me, or women become more like men as decades go by? That is taking the equality thing too far.
Oh, and a minimal thing. I've realized that I don't feel comfortable celebrating special dates at fancy restaurants. Last time I didn't enjoy it. I was worried about the check the whole time and the food wasn't that good. Next time, I'll just go to Carl's Jr or something :)
This is random. I have nothing else to do as I wait for mom to come back from my uncle's place again. God, that man's got some issues.